Trying To Pause Time My Whole Life

Photography isn’t a necessity to life. It hasn’t been around for centuries. Documentation isn’t even a necessity of life, however, as humans we have been documenting through countless mediums forever. Paintings, writings, pressing flowers, saving postcards and momentous, spoken word, lyrics, videos, and photos. I started documenting before I ever touched my first camera. I saved little notes and wrappers. I wrote long-winded diary entries of average days. I even made sure the weather was documented at the top of pages. I drew timelines, made lists, and sketched moments and places that words didn’t do justice. It’s crazy how detailed I have been through the years. I didn’t realize it until the concept of documentation came up with my counselor. I was so surprised by the tears and passion that erupted as I expressed the importance of documentation. That I know “stuff” doesn’t matter , but sometimes we need “stuff” to remember the eternal things. The faces of loved ones, the moments of peace, joy, and heartache. Now that I’m looking back, and have spent time digging through the dozens of journals and mementos in boxes my parents let me ship across the world just to have, I’m realizing it’s not a surprise photography became my love. It’s not surprising I couldn’t get enough of pausing time. I’ve always been trying to pause time just so I can breath it in. I don’t want fleeting hugs, laughs, and beauty. I want to remember it. Getting to capture peoples love, hugs, wrinkles, kisses, tears, scars, laughs, children, parents, and all the moments that build a memory is truly one of the best things about my life. My camera is one of the biggest tools I have to process life around me. It’s not a burden to carry the 6 lb of plastic and glass on my side. Honestly, I wouldn’t feel quite right without it. It helps me live life fuller- not scared I won’t remember. I take photos of myself crying on the absolute worst days of my life, photos of my best friends laughing over dinner, photos of plane tickets and rides, photos of favorite meals, photos of sunsets and sunrises, photos of anything I don’t want to ever forget.