Mercy Ships / The End of a Chapter
My journey with Mercy ships starts way back in 2019 actually, and even though I spent only 8 months “with” the ships, it feels like I lived a lifetime in that world. I’m approaching my birthday, I always try to reflect on the past year, and what better way to do that than creating a timeline?? This is Chapter 23 of my life:
Its not every day I get to explain to airport customs that I sailed into the country on a ship and thaft’s why the stamps say what they say. Its not every day you get to fly to Sri Lanka for work - or climb into a freshwater tank or be on an emergency team with fire drills every week. Its a completely other world in Mercy Ships, and I am thankful I got to spend time onboard both their ships. My closest friends know this experience (as seen on the timeline) was wildly different than my expectations. I signed up to join a 10 person communications team in Senegal and found myself in the middle of the Indian Ocean as a solo communications representative. So as I reflect, it’s easier to see God knew the plan. He did. I did not. I did a lot of things kicking and screaming. I did a lot of laughing and making friends. I just did a lot this year. This year was a biggie. I learned SO much about myself and people. I’ve included some key journal/Instagram entries that I posted throughout 2021that I think synopsize the year:
“Today felt like a weird dream I’ve had- some parts seemed exactly the way I thought and others quite the opposite. I’ve decided flying into Tenerife was one of the prettiest flights I’ve ever been on. When I thought a ship would feel foreign to me, I found myself feeling at home. Seagulls calling, the wind rushing by, the green decks with dusty foot prints, the sound of waves against the dock, the tires hanging off the side of the cement- oh! I’ve been on a ferry. Oh, I’m on a ferry- a ferry turned hospital ship. I guess I always forget I grew up be the sea. The ferries between Bostanli and Konak were always my favorite. One of my favorite memories is sneaking up to lay on top of the bridge on an Izmir Ferry, looking at the stars with my best friends. I’m here. I’m home. In my a new home. Here is a photo dump of the last 12 hours because today goes down as a good day; a day that many people were a part of bringing a part. God always knew it would be April 01, 2021, and that’s a wild thought. (The last photo is a book I gave Liam in 2019- it’s a Richard Scary book “What Do People Do”- I wanted him to have a reference for where I was. I finally got to write in it last week!”
“Life is slow here. It’s funny because this ship is normally bustling. With patients coming on and off board, 400 crew living onboard, and day crew coming and going, you can barely find a quiet place I’ve heard. In our little lock down world, most places are quiet. Around 150 crew walk the halls, and take cars out to our 3 adventure choices: the beach, the supermarket, or the hike. I like it here. I like that it’s slow in many ways, because I’ve crossed paths with every person aboard. It’s in quiet places where you get lost in conversations and in long walks where you often realize how connected you are with each other. This life is weird life’s. It’s not real life but it is my life. We work hard and we find ways to play hard.”
“Those who lived the last two years close to me know the Africa Mercy went from a sure thing to a blurry dream over months and months. Delays due to COVID-19 made my life a constant state of limbo for over a year. Sometimes the ship felt like “the island” that didn’t really exist- I would stare at photos like the ones above in front of the ship wondering what it must be like to really live there. So to have this photo - Standing in front of the Africa Mercy is so strange. In my mind it still looks photoshopped. I watched so many videos of tours and peoples experiences onboard that walking up the gangway and into reception felt like walking on a tv show set. Everything was what I thought but way bigger and so real. I guess this is a post to say thank you to my friends and family for one of the hardest two years of preparing and waiting for this next home - for Letting me live with you while I was in limbo, cry after hard news of another delay, and being there for me when you knew supporting this next step meant sending me off an ocean away. This is also an official goodbye to my first ship home - my 12th official home - and a place I’m relieved I get to say is very much a real place. Even though it was only 3 months, it still felt like a home I’ve known and held in my heart for two years. Major shout outs to @sm_sneed for literally writing my first email to mercy ships, to @kyliedenisebest for that first wild phone call, @brunetteonthemap for rushing over as I panicked and made a pros and cons list on my living room floor with me, @emilyholmesweddings for supporting me and affirming me that this what I had been waiting forever, @sarabethy for letting me live in your home and before that understanding that I was going to miss your wedding, @eggluntz for processing so many tears, my grandparents for letting me invade their home for months on end, @ginnywitha_gg for watching dozens of videos about ship life and keeping me laughing, @bre_weldon for never ever letting me feel alone- for going to Turkey with me - finding any way to see me, and for sending me off knowing I was going to miss your wedding, @jo__schaus for inspiring me to live this out, @verityhwang for quite literally making the best food and the best out of the worst situations. And so many others. I don’t even know how to fit all of you into one entry.”
“We can do hard things. We’ve done them before, and we will do them again.” It’s August 2021, and after four different flight/travel bookings, 23 days of quarantine, 3 PCR tests, packing 5 different times, triple goodbyes, running through the Madrid airport with a 26lb/12kl backpack, a failed equipment shipment, lost luggage, and climbing up a ladder at night on the side of a massive ship, I made it. WE made it. 😂 Traveling in this time is something else, and I’m so glad I had friends to laugh through the chaos with. I have journal entries I’ve been writing for weeks; Sometimes I want to share them, but most of the time I feel like everyone will just think I focus on the hard stuff because a lot of what I share is my processing. In some ways I have focused on the hard stuff the last couple years. My mental stamina has been tested over and over the last few months. I hit my “breaking point” two weeks ago, and it’s almost a relief to know it exists. From that point on, I just did what I was told and hugged @cruzdanii a lot. That saying “we do hard things. We’ve done them before. We can do them again.” has become my anthem. I adopted it about a month ago and repeat it to myself and others often. That’s why I think I’ve focused on the hard stuff, because I didn’t know I could do hard things. That when I was faced with a challenge my natural instinct is to recoil and doubt myself, and slowly I’m opening up to looking back and seeing how God showed up, I showed up, and I did that. He’s given me friends for 23 years that hold me up and remind me that I can do hard things. Because we’ve done them before. We can do them again.”